1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,960
It's very hard to trust even your most loyal people because you don't know.

2
00:00:06,340 --> 00:00:07,920
But were you not afraid?

3
00:00:08,640 --> 00:00:12,760
No, no. I have nothing to be afraid of. I have done nothing wrong.

4
00:00:13,060 --> 00:00:18,140
And you found the Gardaí and everything, they quickly established the facts, they sent a file to the DPP.

5
00:00:18,580 --> 00:00:20,660
You found the criminal justice system worked well?

6
00:00:21,180 --> 00:00:21,540
Brilliantly.

7
00:00:21,900 --> 00:00:22,180
Okay.

8
00:00:22,180 --> 00:00:29,920
And that's why I would urge other victims out there, don't be afraid because the Gardaí system is brilliant.

9
00:00:30,380 --> 00:00:30,680
Okay.

10
00:00:31,220 --> 00:00:32,200
Now, what are you calling?

11
00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:34,500
Hey, guys. What's going on?

12
00:00:36,040 --> 00:00:39,440
Thanks very much for joining me on this test drive.

13
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,180
John, how are you?

14
00:00:42,460 --> 00:00:44,800
John, nice to see you. Nice to see you, John.

15
00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:52,520
John Thomas, John Kerry, John Scanlon, John Ninja Gamer, John Mark Steele, John Ocelot.

16
00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:58,600
Just going to do a bit of a test drive in the Mercedes AMG range.

17
00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:01,980
Just taking the baby out for a spin.

18
00:01:04,280 --> 00:01:06,880
Maybe a bit too much of a spin there into the corner.

19
00:01:08,460 --> 00:01:11,140
And we're going for gold here, guys.

20
00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:14,240
I have a best record time of 7.33.

21
00:01:15,980 --> 00:01:19,480
You bagged me a silver trophy.

22
00:01:20,020 --> 00:01:22,380
I don't know if you've ever driven one of these babies.

23
00:01:22,740 --> 00:01:24,700
He has denied that he was involved in the kangaroo course.

24
00:01:24,700 --> 00:01:28,340
I don't know if you've ever had the privilege of driving one of these guys.

25
00:01:28,340 --> 00:01:29,560
He said they advised you and the other victim to go to the Gardaí.

26
00:01:30,100 --> 00:01:38,460
And last night, Sinn Féin insisted that the primary advice of the victims had been to report the abuse to the force.

27
00:01:38,700 --> 00:01:42,200
And that is their standard advice in all circumstances.

28
00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:43,760
This is the, uh...

29
00:01:43,760 --> 00:01:48,000
One of the new Mercedes AMG range.

30
00:01:49,080 --> 00:01:51,160
Leather seats.

31
00:01:51,820 --> 00:01:53,820
Bluetooth as standard.

32
00:01:55,380 --> 00:01:58,140
Why would he need my Ivan Yates?

33
00:02:07,280 --> 00:02:11,040
There's a guy right here driving an old coupe

34
00:02:15,200 --> 00:02:20,180
It's a hard stretch, but we're gonna squeeze in past this guy fuck you

35
00:02:21,560 --> 00:02:23,560
Fuck you

36
00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:28,380
To what you're saying no way. I don't know who he thought he was Jesus Christ man

37
00:02:30,220 --> 00:02:32,220
Spinning here guys

38
00:02:38,260 --> 00:02:40,260
Now we go for the interior

39
00:02:41,200 --> 00:02:44,720
We head down the fruits runner

40
00:02:44,720 --> 00:02:57,120
He was walking with artistic children all over the world he was teaching English to children across Madrid

41
00:02:58,040 --> 00:03:02,640
Highland China's guys on about Jerry Adams teaching English in Madrid and

42
00:03:03,380 --> 00:03:05,380
And Sinn Féin

43
00:03:05,760 --> 00:03:07,760
The IRA

44
00:03:10,040 --> 00:03:13,480
So you believe there are other victims out there who haven't come forward?

45
00:03:13,480 --> 00:03:18,700
I do now we've got another piece of road here the Mets the Metzgefeld

46
00:03:18,700 --> 00:03:26,860
It's a real sweet turn here as we come in hard definitely don't overcook it on the accelerator guys

47
00:03:26,860 --> 00:03:30,700
You need to have a good one especially when you're in the Callenhardt

48
00:03:30,700 --> 00:03:36,520
Coming up to the Callenhardt here it's a hard squeeze and up ahead we've got another Mercedes

49
00:03:36,520 --> 00:03:38,520
It's just all about Mercedes today

50
00:03:38,520 --> 00:03:39,520
It's just all about Mercedes today

51
00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:41,520
It's not gonna change

52
00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:46,340
This whole saga has had on you personally and your family

53
00:03:49,340 --> 00:03:51,340
There we go this coochie coo here

54
00:03:51,340 --> 00:03:55,340
Trying to get ahead of me on the the verse siphon

55
00:03:55,340 --> 00:04:09,340
I'm gonna fucking strange him out of it there and move by his stupid stupid car so it's a great car look all Mercedes are great but I mean that is just...

56
00:04:09,340 --> 00:04:12,140
What the fuck is he playing at?

57
00:04:12,140 --> 00:04:14,140
This is drive time

58
00:04:14,140 --> 00:04:18,780
Getting a good lap time can be daunting

59
00:04:18,780 --> 00:04:22,060
But it doesn't have to be Samantha

60
00:04:22,060 --> 00:04:28,240
Sorry about this guys

61
00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:34,640
Just had to take a break there it's getting a little bit too much a little bit too fruity

62
00:04:34,640 --> 00:04:40,320
Someone driving a fucking road car there it's a touring car or something

63
00:04:40,320 --> 00:04:52,800
I don't think they even care about me they're not caring about damaging the body work they're definitely not preparing for me to overtake on the left hand side

64
00:04:52,800 --> 00:05:02,240
I am more relaxed I actually I walked into a local supermarket yesterday and I met an old friend of mine from my year old friend of mine from my year old man and ask about test driving the new Mercedes

65
00:05:02,240 --> 00:05:14,320
Thanks very much Connor Fowler thank you very much how much would they give me off the new Mercedes if I trade in my 06 Clio?

66
00:05:15,040 --> 00:05:17,840
Not very much Connor?

67
00:05:17,840 --> 00:05:29,840
Not very much is the answer to that I'm gonna have to say in fact I don't know anyone and I've I worked as a senior sales executive for Mercedes Ireland for like 15 years

68
00:05:29,840 --> 00:05:35,520
Not once did we have anyone come in to trade in a Renault

69
00:05:35,520 --> 00:05:37,680
Do you know what I mean?

70
00:05:37,680 --> 00:05:39,440
A Clio?

71
00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:41,680
Go on!

72
00:05:41,680 --> 00:05:42,640
Go on!

73
00:05:42,640 --> 00:05:44,160
Hop skip and jump!

74
00:05:44,160 --> 00:05:46,160
That's what we would have told you!

75
00:05:46,160 --> 00:05:46,960
She never will be!

76
00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:48,160
But thanks very much!

77
00:05:48,160 --> 00:05:52,960
Look at this!

78
00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:57,440
She's driving a what's that? A fucking soccer mom car or something!

79
00:05:57,440 --> 00:05:58,800
Go on!

80
00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:01,760
You might as well go out and buy yourself a Dacia!

81
00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:03,760
If you're driving one of those things!

82
00:06:03,760 --> 00:06:06,960
Do you know who drives those? Soccer moms!

83
00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:08,720
And grannies!

84
00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:10,640
It might be someone politically involved!

85
00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:11,360
It could be...

86
00:06:11,360 --> 00:06:12,560
Get the hell out of my way!

87
00:06:12,560 --> 00:06:16,880
I'm driving the latest AMG range fresh out of the showroom in Geneva!

88
00:06:16,880 --> 00:06:18,480
Okay guys!

89
00:06:20,160 --> 00:06:22,720
Just sold the second house now!

90
00:06:22,720 --> 00:06:24,160
Just so I could afford this!

91
00:06:24,880 --> 00:06:26,720
I actually knew a guy!

92
00:06:27,280 --> 00:06:29,280
I knew a guy from Greystones!

93
00:06:29,840 --> 00:06:31,760
Who licked a man's sack!

94
00:06:32,320 --> 00:06:35,360
Just so that he could get tickets to the Geneva Motor Show!

95
00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:40,800
And he...

96
00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:41,760
That man's name?

97
00:06:44,240 --> 00:06:45,280
Ivan Yates!

98
00:06:45,280 --> 00:06:51,120
Let's just move on!

99
00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:53,520
We're moving on fast and swift here guys!

100
00:06:54,240 --> 00:06:55,760
Not gonna be a great lap!

101
00:06:55,760 --> 00:06:57,200
It's not gonna be a great lap!

102
00:06:57,200 --> 00:06:58,000
It's gonna be...

103
00:06:58,000 --> 00:06:59,680
We're probably gonna be over bronze!

104
00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:01,360
As if you're a new person!

105
00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:03,280
Especially like when I...

106
00:07:04,560 --> 00:07:08,640
We've got another couple of coochie coos coming up here!

107
00:07:08,640 --> 00:07:10,400
Just out of work!

108
00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:11,600
I've seen three...

109
00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:12,400
Fuck off man!

110
00:07:12,400 --> 00:07:13,520
You wanna get...

111
00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:15,360
This is Mondello!

112
00:07:15,360 --> 00:07:16,640
Not the M50!

113
00:07:16,640 --> 00:07:17,840
Get off my road!

114
00:07:17,840 --> 00:07:19,040
I've seen a lot of coochie coos!

115
00:07:19,040 --> 00:07:19,680
See you later!

116
00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:20,240
Watch that!

117
00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:20,240
I've seen a lot of coochie coos!

118
00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:22,240
I've seen a lot of coochie coos!

119
00:07:22,240 --> 00:07:22,320
I've seen a lot of coochie coos!

120
00:07:22,320 --> 00:07:23,280
I've seen a lot of coochie coos!

121
00:07:23,280 --> 00:07:24,320
Fuck me man!

122
00:07:25,120 --> 00:07:28,560
These guys need to go into their local Zurich brokers soon!

123
00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:30,560
Sooner rather than later!

124
00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:32,320
Because it's never too early!

125
00:07:33,200 --> 00:07:34,640
Never ever too early!

126
00:07:34,640 --> 00:07:36,240
Thank you for joining us on The Hard Shoulder!

127
00:07:36,240 --> 00:07:38,000
Thank you for joining us on The Hard Shoulder!

128
00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:40,880
With Ivan Yates!

129
00:07:42,560 --> 00:07:43,120
Nissan!

130
00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:45,120
Wow!

131
00:07:45,120 --> 00:07:47,120
Test drive today!

132
00:07:47,120 --> 00:07:48,800
Test drive to Nissan!

133
00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:50,400
Go away!

134
00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:52,640
Have a great afternoon!

135
00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:53,840
Have a great day!

136
00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:57,680
The number one in Ireland for laptops and cameras, TVs and all things 10!

137
00:07:57,680 --> 00:07:58,080
It's a great deal!

138
00:07:58,080 --> 00:07:58,800
It's a great deal!

139
00:07:58,800 --> 00:07:59,440
It's a great deal!

140
00:07:59,440 --> 00:07:59,920
It's a great deal!

141
00:07:59,920 --> 00:08:00,320
It's a great deal!

142
00:08:00,320 --> 00:08:02,000
Thanks very much there Mutt Man!

143
00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:02,960
It's been sipping cold tea!

144
00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:04,560
A Long Island iced tea!

145
00:08:04,560 --> 00:08:06,720
Thanks very much Mutt Man!

146
00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:10,000
Thank you so much for that!

147
00:08:11,520 --> 00:08:17,680
We'll turn those adverts off for a moment just so we can experience raw driving sound and power!

148
00:08:17,680 --> 00:08:21,840
I just put pen to paper on a new pension deal from Zurich!

149
00:08:21,840 --> 00:08:23,360
Johnny thanks so much!

150
00:08:24,640 --> 00:08:25,280
You should...

151
00:08:25,280 --> 00:08:26,080
I just put pen...

152
00:08:26,080 --> 00:08:26,400
Whoa!

153
00:08:28,720 --> 00:08:29,440
Fuck John!

154
00:08:31,840 --> 00:08:33,040
No Johnny!

155
00:08:33,040 --> 00:08:34,320
How are you getting on dude?

156
00:08:35,360 --> 00:08:37,280
Look brother man Johnny...

157
00:08:37,280 --> 00:08:38,240
Uh...

158
00:08:38,240 --> 00:08:39,920
You asked there did Fontaine...

159
00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:41,280
I just spoke to your wife...

160
00:08:43,280 --> 00:08:45,200
You've been the victim of bank fraud!

161
00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:47,040
Ivan Yates!

162
00:08:47,680 --> 00:08:48,800
Thank you so much!

163
00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:53,600
Look Johnny's asking there did Fontaine ever finish L.A. Noire?

164
00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:54,960
Well...

165
00:08:55,520 --> 00:08:57,200
Gonna be honest with you guys...

166
00:08:57,920 --> 00:08:59,200
No is the answer and...

167
00:08:59,920 --> 00:09:01,840
Secondly, he's probably gonna be back...

168
00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:04,160
Either tonight or tomorrow...

169
00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:06,160
I can't...

170
00:09:06,160 --> 00:09:07,440
I can't guarantee that...

171
00:09:08,560 --> 00:09:09,600
I'd say tomorrow...

172
00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:16,560
Look we've been seriously rebuffed here guys...

173
00:09:16,560 --> 00:09:20,080
Ivan Yates thanks so much...

174
00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:20,880
And Johnny...

175
00:09:20,880 --> 00:09:22,800
We're now at the Flans Garden...

176
00:09:22,800 --> 00:09:24,880
Which is one of the hardest sections of the track...

177
00:09:24,880 --> 00:09:26,320
Okay guys...

178
00:09:26,320 --> 00:09:28,720
One of the hardest sections of the track coming up...

179
00:09:28,720 --> 00:09:32,240
One of the hardest sections of the track coming up...

180
00:09:34,560 --> 00:09:37,680
And this is where things get a little bit sexy...

181
00:09:37,680 --> 00:09:39,200
Because we've a hard straight...

182
00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:40,640
Just...

183
00:09:40,640 --> 00:09:40,640
Just...

184
00:09:40,640 --> 00:09:42,640
Around these necks...

185
00:09:42,640 --> 00:09:44,640
The neck of this bend...

186
00:09:44,640 --> 00:09:47,760
It's a real tough cookie to crack...

187
00:09:47,760 --> 00:09:50,640
But as my granny always used to say...

188
00:09:50,640 --> 00:09:54,080
That's the way the cookie crumbles...

189
00:09:54,080 --> 00:09:57,520
And now we enter the Schwalzenbarnschwanz...

190
00:09:57,520 --> 00:10:00,960
Another fine mighty German corner...

191
00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:02,080
At the Nord...

192
00:10:02,080 --> 00:10:04,080
The northern section of the...

193
00:10:04,080 --> 00:10:06,080
Nurburgring Nordschleifer...

194
00:10:07,620 --> 00:10:09,980
You bet your life on it...

195
00:10:09,980 --> 00:10:12,080
I'm gonna be fucking making bronze time...

196
00:10:12,620 --> 00:10:14,080
And that's gonna be no joke...

197
00:10:15,660 --> 00:10:17,380
And we're gonna keep doing this guys...

198
00:10:17,380 --> 00:10:19,080
Bronze is the aim of the game here...

199
00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:23,080
I don't say that lightly...

200
00:10:24,080 --> 00:10:27,660
I don't even fucking attribute any weight to the words I'm saying...

201
00:10:27,660 --> 00:10:29,080
So I don't even know why I'm assuring you...

202
00:10:29,800 --> 00:10:32,080
That it isn't a light meaning of the word...

203
00:10:32,080 --> 00:10:33,640
In fact...

204
00:10:33,640 --> 00:10:36,980
I didn't really throw any weight behind the wording...

205
00:10:36,980 --> 00:10:38,640
In that sentence at all...

206
00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:41,340
Basically if I'm...

207
00:10:41,340 --> 00:10:42,980
If I'm getting heavy...

208
00:10:42,980 --> 00:10:44,740
You'll fucking know about it John...

209
00:10:44,740 --> 00:10:45,580
Alright...

210
00:10:45,580 --> 00:10:46,060
Did you...

211
00:10:46,060 --> 00:10:47,560
Did you speak to Zürich yet?

212
00:10:48,220 --> 00:10:50,700
This is the mighty straight I was talking about...

213
00:10:50,700 --> 00:10:51,640
Bill Stein...

214
00:10:52,180 --> 00:10:52,640
Bill Stein...

215
00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:55,700
Right underneath the Bill Stein Bridge...

216
00:10:55,700 --> 00:10:56,640
We go...

217
00:10:56,640 --> 00:10:58,640
We've got another chicane coming up...

218
00:10:59,680 --> 00:11:00,160
Here we go...

219
00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:01,640
Slow down for the chicane guys...

220
00:11:01,640 --> 00:11:03,200
Don't hit the apex...

221
00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:05,200
Or you're gonna make that tail spin...

222
00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:07,540
And we're gonna go another time...

223
00:11:07,540 --> 00:11:09,200
Once more guys...

224
00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:10,200
Another chicane...

225
00:11:11,340 --> 00:11:12,200
And one more...

226
00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:14,440
It's a tough nut to crack...

227
00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:16,200
We're not going in for pit stops this time...

228
00:11:16,200 --> 00:11:18,100
What we're gonna do is...

229
00:11:18,100 --> 00:11:19,040
We're gonna finish up...

230
00:11:19,040 --> 00:11:20,600
With a possible bronze...

231
00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:22,600
And that's no good for no man or beast...

232
00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:25,600
That's no good for no man or beast...

233
00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:26,600
Bronze...

234
00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:27,600
Get out of that...

235
00:11:27,600 --> 00:11:28,600
Get up out of that...

236
00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:29,600
We're not going for bronze...

237
00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:32,600
We're going for gold baby...

238
00:11:32,600 --> 00:11:34,160
Pure...

239
00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:36,160
Pure mother gold...

240
00:11:36,160 --> 00:11:38,160
I'd offer you a bit of schlur...

241
00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:40,160
But I raided most of that last night...

242
00:11:40,160 --> 00:11:42,160
You don't need to blame me though...

243
00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:44,160
After the weak iPad...

244
00:11:44,160 --> 00:11:45,720
Gav from effing...

245
00:11:45,720 --> 00:11:47,720
Thanks so much buddy...

246
00:11:47,720 --> 00:11:48,720
For the...

247
00:11:48,720 --> 00:11:49,720
For the...

248
00:11:49,720 --> 00:11:49,720
The...

249
00:11:49,720 --> 00:11:49,720
The...

250
00:11:49,720 --> 00:11:50,720
345...

251
00:11:51,500 --> 00:11:51,720
Gav...

252
00:11:52,980 --> 00:11:53,720
Gav from...

253
00:11:53,720 --> 00:11:54,720
Gav from effing...

254
00:11:54,720 --> 00:11:55,720
Gav from effing with the 345...

255
00:11:57,060 --> 00:11:57,720
Thanks so much...

256
00:11:57,720 --> 00:11:58,720
It's great...

257
00:11:58,720 --> 00:12:01,720
I've just spoke to your wife...

258
00:12:01,720 --> 00:12:04,720
You've been the victim of bank fraud...

259
00:12:04,720 --> 00:12:06,120
You've been the victim of bank fraud...

260
00:12:06,120 --> 00:12:07,720
Schwalzen Ben...

261
00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:09,580
Sorry to have to say buddy...

262
00:12:09,580 --> 00:12:12,480
You've been the victim of bank fraud...

263
00:12:12,480 --> 00:12:15,680
You've no money left in your account...

264
00:12:15,680 --> 00:12:21,680
Thanks so much Schwalzen Ben...

265
00:12:21,680 --> 00:12:22,860
Really nice...

266
00:12:22,860 --> 00:12:23,720
Really kind...

267
00:12:23,720 --> 00:12:25,160
I really appreciate it...

268
00:12:25,160 --> 00:12:26,560
Okay...

269
00:12:26,560 --> 00:12:27,740
What's Yates saying?

270
00:12:27,800 --> 00:12:30,000
Let's get a bit of Yates on...

271
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:34,000
Let's stick a bit of Yates on there guys...

272
00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:37,720
When the jury in the Anacreatal trial...

273
00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:38,460
Has begun watching...

274
00:12:38,460 --> 00:12:39,960
Well let's turn that off...

275
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:42,200
Bit of a dark news segment there...

276
00:12:42,200 --> 00:12:44,240
We can't have that guys...

277
00:12:44,240 --> 00:12:45,880
We're gonna move on here...

278
00:12:45,880 --> 00:12:48,040
Move on swift and fast...

279
00:12:48,040 --> 00:12:49,240
And tackle the...

280
00:12:49,240 --> 00:12:50,280
The Nürburgring...

281
00:12:50,280 --> 00:12:52,280
Nürburgring Nordschleife...

282
00:12:53,560 --> 00:12:55,200
For yet another pop...

283
00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:57,480
At the Golden Trofe...

284
00:12:57,480 --> 00:12:59,720
As we move into the first bend...

285
00:12:59,720 --> 00:13:00,280
Liquid smooth...

286
00:13:01,520 --> 00:13:02,280
Tickling the apex...

287
00:13:03,280 --> 00:13:05,240
With a feather duster of a tire tread...

288
00:13:05,240 --> 00:13:06,240
Tread...

289
00:13:06,240 --> 00:13:07,240
Don't ever...

290
00:13:07,240 --> 00:13:07,740
Mock me...

291
00:13:07,740 --> 00:13:10,240
Don't ever mock the afflicted either...

292
00:13:10,240 --> 00:13:11,680
It's not good...

293
00:13:11,680 --> 00:13:13,740
Especially if you're up there in your ivory tower guys...

294
00:13:13,740 --> 00:13:15,660
People below you...

295
00:13:15,660 --> 00:13:16,740
Don't feel comfortable...

296
00:13:16,740 --> 00:13:18,700
When you're up there...

297
00:13:18,700 --> 00:13:20,200
Driving an AMG...

298
00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:22,200
Around the Nürburgring...

299
00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:25,200
For the second time in your life...

300
00:13:25,200 --> 00:13:28,200
Trying to make a pop at the Golden Trofe...

301
00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:31,200
You've got all sorts of Mercs in front of you...

302
00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:33,160
Old new coupe...

303
00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:34,160
Sedan...

304
00:13:34,160 --> 00:13:36,160
Sports range...

305
00:13:36,160 --> 00:13:37,920
Soccer mom...

306
00:13:37,920 --> 00:13:39,160
Kind of jobs...

307
00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:42,160
Stuff your granny a drive...

308
00:13:42,160 --> 00:13:42,500
Do you know...

309
00:13:42,500 --> 00:13:46,160
If you've got a bit of spare change in the back pocket...

310
00:13:46,160 --> 00:13:50,160
Why not throw your granny a fucking Mercs soccer mom job...

311
00:13:50,160 --> 00:13:55,720
Make her feel special and wanted...

312
00:13:55,720 --> 00:13:58,120
As we move past the coupe...

313
00:13:58,120 --> 00:14:00,540
As we move past the coupe...

314
00:14:00,540 --> 00:14:02,120
At an alarming pace John...

315
00:14:02,120 --> 00:14:05,120
Interestingly enough...

316
00:14:05,120 --> 00:14:08,120
Dara Fitzgerald...

317
00:14:08,120 --> 00:14:15,360
Right...

318
00:14:15,360 --> 00:14:17,080
We'll start that again guys...

319
00:14:17,080 --> 00:14:22,580
When I slither home...

320
00:14:22,580 --> 00:14:24,540
After a hard day out in the fields...

321
00:14:24,540 --> 00:14:25,780
There's nothing I like more than...

322
00:14:25,780 --> 00:14:27,080
Lashing a few shtickings...

323
00:14:27,080 --> 00:14:28,500
Into the fireplace...

324
00:14:28,500 --> 00:14:30,040
And setting fire to them...

325
00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:31,920
Be careful not to burn your hands like I did...

326
00:14:31,920 --> 00:14:33,920
While I'm waiting for that baby to get going...

327
00:14:33,920 --> 00:14:35,800
I do a few rolls on the ground...

328
00:14:35,800 --> 00:14:38,080
And a few reptilious repetitions...

329
00:14:38,080 --> 00:14:40,040
Just to get the blood flowing...

330
00:14:40,040 --> 00:14:42,120
Once those flames are licking high...

331
00:14:42,120 --> 00:14:44,040
It's time to shtick your coal in it...

332
00:14:44,040 --> 00:14:47,920
You can generate extra drafthage...

333
00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:50,040
By using your gooch as a waft...

334
00:14:50,040 --> 00:14:52,120
Now all that's left is to sit back...

335
00:14:52,120 --> 00:14:54,040
And warm your sack by the flames...

336
00:14:54,040 --> 00:14:57,320
This message was brought to you...

337
00:14:57,320 --> 00:14:59,040
By Firelighters...

338
00:15:08,040 --> 00:15:32,840
*Rubble Music*

339
00:15:33,480 --> 00:15:35,720
Right, sorry about that guys!

340
00:15:35,720 --> 00:15:39,720
*Rubble Music*

341
00:15:39,720 --> 00:15:41,720
You're fucked!

342
00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:45,720
*Rubble Music*

343
00:15:45,720 --> 00:15:47,720
*Rubble Music*

344
00:15:47,720 --> 00:15:51,720
Sorry about that guys!

345
00:15:51,720 --> 00:15:53,720
*Rubble Music*

346
00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:57,720
Technical Gremlins go- *Rubble Music*

347
00:15:57,720 --> 00:15:59,720
You should too John!

348
00:15:59,720 --> 00:16:03,720
C-Mac Millionaire, thanks so much buddy!

349
00:16:03,720 --> 00:16:07,720
We're gonna go- *Rubble Music*

350
00:16:07,720 --> 00:16:09,720
You're fucked!

351
00:16:09,720 --> 00:16:13,720
*Rubble Music*

352
00:16:13,720 --> 00:16:15,720
*Rubble Music*

353
00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:21,720
*Rubble Music*

354
00:16:21,720 --> 00:16:23,720
*Rubble Music*

355
00:16:23,720 --> 00:16:25,720
Robby Brothers, thanks so much man!

356
00:16:25,720 --> 00:16:29,720
*Rubble Music*

357
00:16:29,720 --> 00:16:30,220
*cough*

358
00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:35,760
Oh fuck...

359
00:16:41,180 --> 00:16:42,380
*ahem*

360
00:16:53,360 --> 00:16:58,520
Technical gremlins guys! Sorry about that. Gonna have to stop looking at stuff.

361
00:16:59,220 --> 00:17:04,160
Gonna have to just cop on, you know. Look, it's been a tough day. We're trying to get gold.

362
00:17:08,800 --> 00:17:15,680
Where was I? Yeah, I was talking about my friend, interestingly enough guys, a friend who is a Zurich broker.

363
00:17:16,760 --> 00:17:21,620
Dara Fitzgerald, he was saying this, he drives a coupe. A

364
00:17:23,040 --> 00:17:27,140
1967 Mercedes. Solid pearl Clio white.

365
00:17:28,720 --> 00:17:33,660
And he drives that insanely. Around Donna Bate.

366
00:17:35,660 --> 00:17:44,040
On a weekend. He's also, he's got, he shook hands with Jackie Stewart. And he's good friends also with Eddie Jordan.

367
00:17:44,660 --> 00:18:03,600
Also, while we're on the subject of Dara Fitzgerald, my friend, the Zurich stock broker. Zurich broker, he... this is the kind of car he drives up the Quiddlebacker Hach. And he's got a 1967 Mercedes AMG original coupe.

368
00:18:03,600 --> 00:18:09,540
And he likes to, he likes to fling that. He likes to fling that down the flug plots. When he has time.

369
00:18:09,540 --> 00:18:26,480
Every June and July, he's got to the Nürburgring. Just to bring back the memories. Dust off the cobwebs. And say, "Do you know what? Fuck it all. I'm taking the Merc over to Zurr. We're gonna... we're gonna drive that into the ground."

370
00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:35,600
round and he actually was him he's the first guy who got me into Zurich in a big way because up until

371
00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:43,240
then didn't really give the pension much thought you know he was like John have you ever you know

372
00:18:43,240 --> 00:18:49,700
you're hot you're halfway through the round the big round of golf known as life you're currently

373
00:18:49,700 --> 00:18:59,980
on the back nine you're currently you're currently on the back nine John and you need to start thinking

374
00:18:59,980 --> 00:19:10,100
about what you're gonna do once you reach the 19th hole I said you know what man fuck you you can stick

375
00:19:10,100 --> 00:19:19,060
your pension up your hole because I've busted my bollocks all throughout my life you know left school

376
00:19:19,060 --> 00:19:31,780
took a gap year out in mongoo went and helped peasants out in mongoo came back straight into a high power

377
00:19:31,780 --> 00:19:37,440
business degree went for a postgrad in the dbs skies

378
00:19:37,440 --> 00:19:47,340
managed to get a foot that my foot in the door I was always the future was always sealed because my father

379
00:19:47,340 --> 00:19:59,260
partner at AMG and KPMG as well I managed to make partner at KPMG at the age of 23

380
00:19:59,260 --> 00:20:12,060
and since then things have just been going so swiftly and smoothly there never even gave the back nine much thought

381
00:20:12,060 --> 00:20:22,780
thought Dara was like listen I'm gonna give you the power powerpoint of a lifetime in a in just a sec

382
00:20:22,780 --> 00:20:33,980
and I said why are you gonna give me a why just a sec Dara why not now why not bust out the fucking lap now

383
00:20:33,980 --> 00:20:49,260
and he said my driving is shocking guys and um anyway yeah he was driving at the time said look I want to give you a powerpoint on a jurick John

384
00:20:49,260 --> 00:20:52,000
I said listen John

385
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:53,640
even though your name's Dara

386
00:20:53,640 --> 00:20:56,020
I'm just gonna call you John from now on

387
00:20:56,020 --> 00:20:58,140
right? And he said look

388
00:20:58,140 --> 00:21:00,260
I'm gonna give you

389
00:21:00,260 --> 00:21:01,660
a powerpoint in a sec

390
00:21:01,660 --> 00:21:04,300
right after this

391
00:21:04,300 --> 00:21:06,120
and I said what's this? And he goes

392
00:21:06,120 --> 00:21:08,340
this. And he just puts

393
00:21:08,340 --> 00:21:10,380
the fucking foot down in the coupe

394
00:21:10,380 --> 00:21:12,440
and goes

395
00:21:12,440 --> 00:21:14,400
right, he just lifts

396
00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:16,120
lifts at need for speed

397
00:21:16,120 --> 00:21:18,500
drops the gear knob

398
00:21:18,500 --> 00:21:20,760
down to third, accelerates

399
00:21:20,760 --> 00:21:22,480
past all the

400
00:21:22,480 --> 00:21:24,680
fucking scum in front of him

401
00:21:24,680 --> 00:21:26,780
and overtakes, overtakes

402
00:21:26,780 --> 00:21:27,660
overtook

403
00:21:27,660 --> 00:21:29,860
overtook, overtook

404
00:21:29,860 --> 00:21:31,840
and he was just screaming

405
00:21:31,840 --> 00:21:33,280
screaming

406
00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:36,680
and he was just

407
00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:38,300
screaming out the window

408
00:21:38,300 --> 00:21:41,960
look at me go

409
00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:45,040
look at me go

410
00:21:45,040 --> 00:21:47,000
look at me

411
00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:53,900
look at me

412
00:21:53,900 --> 00:21:55,280
do you know

413
00:21:55,280 --> 00:22:00,980
when I slither home

414
00:22:00,980 --> 00:22:02,660
after a hard day out in the fields

415
00:22:02,660 --> 00:22:04,900
there's nothing I like more than lashing a few

416
00:22:04,900 --> 00:22:06,300
shtickings into the fireplace

417
00:22:06,300 --> 00:22:08,320
and setting fire to them

418
00:22:08,320 --> 00:22:10,340
be careful not to burn your hands like I did

419
00:22:10,340 --> 00:22:12,240
while I'm waiting for that baby to get going

420
00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:14,160
I do a few rolls on the ground

421
00:22:14,160 --> 00:22:16,520
and a few reptilius repetitions

422
00:22:16,520 --> 00:22:18,080
just to get the blood flowing

423
00:22:18,080 --> 00:22:20,460
once those flames are licking high

424
00:22:20,460 --> 00:22:22,480
it's time to shtick your coal in it

425
00:22:22,480 --> 00:22:26,180
you can generate extra drafdage

426
00:22:26,180 --> 00:22:28,280
by using your gooch as a waft

427
00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:32,520
now all that's left is to sit back and warm your sack by the flames

428
00:22:32,520 --> 00:22:37,180
this message was brought to you by fire lighters

429
00:22:37,180 --> 00:22:53,300
so there I was

430
00:22:53,300 --> 00:22:58,120
passenger seat of the coupe mercedes pearl white

431
00:22:58,120 --> 00:23:01,540
1967 classic car

432
00:23:01,540 --> 00:23:02,560
limited edition

433
00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:04,960
passenger seat no less

434
00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:09,540
darif it's captain darif it's gerald

435
00:23:09,540 --> 00:23:10,620
at the fucking helm

436
00:23:10,620 --> 00:23:14,580
zurich broker

437
00:23:14,580 --> 00:23:15,880
he was a zurich broker

438
00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:17,760
and he's like

439
00:23:17,760 --> 00:23:18,840
look john

440
00:23:18,840 --> 00:23:20,420
you know me

441
00:23:20,420 --> 00:23:21,560
I was like darif

442
00:23:21,560 --> 00:23:23,420
you don't need to tell me anything more

443
00:23:23,420 --> 00:23:25,120
you've convinced me about zurich

444
00:23:25,120 --> 00:23:26,260
I'm sold right

445
00:23:26,260 --> 00:23:29,520
he says look I'm gonna give you a little powerpoint

446
00:23:29,520 --> 00:23:32,980
I was like yeah alright

447
00:23:32,980 --> 00:23:36,600
bust out the lap

448
00:23:36,600 --> 00:23:38,780
and let's get grooving

449
00:23:38,780 --> 00:23:42,500
he says I'll give you a powerpoint john

450
00:23:42,500 --> 00:23:43,660
right after this

451
00:23:43,660 --> 00:23:45,900
I go what's this

452
00:23:45,900 --> 00:23:47,520
and he goes

453
00:23:47,520 --> 00:23:52,460
drops the fucking gear shift down a few notches

454
00:23:52,460 --> 00:23:55,980
like a fucking speeding bullet train

455
00:23:55,980 --> 00:23:59,160
on the m50 past all the schleps

456
00:23:59,160 --> 00:24:01,060
in their sedans

457
00:24:01,060 --> 00:24:04,180
their fucking hatchbacks

458
00:24:04,180 --> 00:24:08,180
and he's just going like a fucking cannibal

459
00:24:08,180 --> 00:24:16,980
like a fucking cannonball down the m50 right

460
00:24:16,980 --> 00:24:20,580
electric windows as standard

461
00:24:20,580 --> 00:24:22,540
in the coupe 1967

462
00:24:22,540 --> 00:24:24,420
weren't even invented back then

463
00:24:24,420 --> 00:24:26,260
but he had them installed

464
00:24:26,260 --> 00:24:29,820
he hit the button on his mobile phone

465
00:24:29,820 --> 00:24:30,660
you shouldn't even text

466
00:24:30,660 --> 00:24:35,060
but he had an app for electric windows on his fucking iphone galaxy net 9

467
00:24:35,060 --> 00:24:40,160
literally it was like this

468
00:24:40,160 --> 00:24:43,140
I mean this is just a shitty almira right

469
00:24:43,140 --> 00:24:45,140
you wouldn't catch me driving this piece of shit

470
00:24:45,140 --> 00:24:46,920
This is what he was like.

471
00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:48,560
Wait.

472
00:24:49,700 --> 00:24:50,560
One moment.

473
00:24:50,660 --> 00:24:51,140
One moment.

474
00:24:53,860 --> 00:24:55,200
This is where he was.

475
00:24:55,280 --> 00:24:56,340
We're driving along.

476
00:24:56,800 --> 00:24:59,280
I'm expecting a PowerPoint on the M50.

477
00:25:00,600 --> 00:25:01,260
And this.

478
00:25:02,060 --> 00:25:03,760
This is what Dara says.

479
00:25:07,920 --> 00:25:09,360
He's doing 120.

480
00:25:10,060 --> 00:25:10,460
Could be.

481
00:25:10,600 --> 00:25:11,940
He's probably doing 140.

482
00:25:13,160 --> 00:25:15,540
Do you all know who I am?

483
00:25:16,460 --> 00:25:18,760
Do you fucking know who I am?

484
00:25:22,760 --> 00:25:24,720
I'm Dara.

485
00:25:26,080 --> 00:25:27,900
I'm Dara.

486
00:25:41,180 --> 00:25:56,120
I think we might stick a bit of Yates on John.

487
00:25:58,360 --> 00:26:02,200
I love adverts on the radio.

488
00:26:02,320 --> 00:26:02,960
They're great.

489
00:26:03,060 --> 00:26:03,360
Yeah.

490
00:26:03,540 --> 00:26:04,480
Sorry about the wait.

491
00:26:04,700 --> 00:26:05,800
We've been really busy.

492
00:26:06,040 --> 00:26:07,440
And with just a couple of vans.

493
00:26:07,440 --> 00:26:08,580
You need a bigger fleet.

494
00:26:09,160 --> 00:26:12,400
And you need a bigger fleet.

495
00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:15,720
You can increase the number of vans you rent when you need to.

496
00:26:15,980 --> 00:26:18,160
And return unused vans when you don't.

497
00:26:18,440 --> 00:26:18,960
No commitment.

498
00:26:19,360 --> 00:26:19,840
No hassle.

499
00:26:20,100 --> 00:26:20,460
Just...

500
00:26:20,460 --> 00:26:21,340
Anonomics.

501
00:26:21,340 --> 00:26:21,820
Yeah.

502
00:26:22,260 --> 00:26:24,620
Find out more at Northgatevehiclehire.ie.

503
00:26:24,980 --> 00:26:26,020
Terms and conditions apply.

504
00:26:26,200 --> 00:26:26,980
Dot IE.

505
00:26:27,440 --> 00:26:28,680
Ah, it's summer.

506
00:26:30,940 --> 00:26:33,980
And if you want to know what the weather will be like, don't ask us.

507
00:26:34,460 --> 00:26:35,160
But if you want help...

508
00:26:35,160 --> 00:26:37,020
Malin159Mal.

509
00:26:37,160 --> 00:26:38,680
Not smoking anything, man.

510
00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:40,560
Modes game.

511
00:26:42,840 --> 00:26:43,460
Modes game.

512
00:26:43,600 --> 00:26:44,460
The smoke will just...

513
00:26:44,980 --> 00:26:45,780
Completely...

514
00:26:45,780 --> 00:26:47,300
Your lungs will degenerate.

515
00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:48,060
You'll be coughing.

516
00:26:48,220 --> 00:26:48,860
You'll be spluttering.

517
00:26:49,040 --> 00:26:49,800
You'll be stinking.

518
00:26:50,860 --> 00:26:53,000
Tenor out of your pocket a day.

519
00:26:53,380 --> 00:26:56,100
If you're a 20 a day man like they used to be, you know.

520
00:26:56,100 --> 00:26:58,740
They're coming, kicking fast.

521
00:26:58,940 --> 00:27:02,560
The inside the game with exclusive live matches and expert analysis.

522
00:27:02,660 --> 00:27:04,440
So tough and so skillful.

523
00:27:04,580 --> 00:27:06,600
Catch the unmissable action of the GAA.

524
00:27:06,900 --> 00:27:09,880
Catch the unmissable action of the GAA.

525
00:27:11,940 --> 00:27:12,380
Whoa!

526
00:27:12,380 --> 00:27:13,880
Sky GAA.

527
00:27:14,200 --> 00:27:15,000
New Sky Sports customers.

528
00:27:15,160 --> 00:27:16,660
Sky TV minimum term and T's and C's apply.

529
00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:18,040
Hiring a car on holiday?

530
00:27:18,500 --> 00:27:20,700
Don't get ripped off at the car rental desk abroad.

531
00:27:21,220 --> 00:27:25,480
Big shout out, guys, to Manchester City.

532
00:27:26,140 --> 00:27:27,640
Did the business there.

533
00:27:27,740 --> 00:27:29,140
That's just 14 cents a day.

534
00:27:29,420 --> 00:27:32,360
Cover includes damage to the screen, tires, keys, and more.

535
00:27:32,540 --> 00:27:33,280
Watt Ford.

536
00:27:33,280 --> 00:27:37,320
And the Football Association trophy.

537
00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:39,080
Oh, trophy.

538
00:27:39,080 --> 00:27:40,560
They won the FA trophy.

539
00:27:40,880 --> 00:27:41,820
44, 47.

540
00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:42,960
Over in England.

541
00:27:43,960 --> 00:27:51,320
I started supporting Man City there a couple years ago.

542
00:27:51,620 --> 00:27:52,820
I haven't looked back since.

543
00:27:53,560 --> 00:27:55,180
Was Chelsea before that?

544
00:27:56,800 --> 00:28:01,660
Was Manchester United for like 10 years before that?

545
00:28:01,660 --> 00:28:03,420
That quiet refinement when you see it.

546
00:28:03,740 --> 00:28:07,440
And with a new mild hybrid electric engine and intuitive technology.

547
00:28:07,440 --> 00:28:19,620
The new Range Rover Evoke?

548
00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:24,160
Book the test drive tonight.

549
00:28:25,260 --> 00:28:27,340
We're doing a midnight test drive.

550
00:28:31,580 --> 00:28:33,420
Now we're at the dot in your hoe.

551
00:28:34,400 --> 00:28:38,040
We're going for a, it looks like it's going to be a bronze time again, guys.

552
00:28:38,400 --> 00:28:40,620
It's not something I anticipated, to be honest.

553
00:28:40,760 --> 00:28:42,320
I wanted to go for silver at least.

554
00:28:43,560 --> 00:28:48,760
But we're going to be, I'd say, in and around 7.55.

555
00:28:49,500 --> 00:28:51,700
Probably about, you're looking at 8.20.

556
00:28:52,080 --> 00:28:52,960
8.21.

557
00:28:55,100 --> 00:29:01,020
Yeah, I'd say about 8.10.

558
00:29:01,020 --> 00:29:02,980
8.5, 8.10.

559
00:29:02,980 --> 00:29:04,980
8.10.

560
00:29:06,420 --> 00:29:09,600
Yeah, hopefully Mandela at the weekend with Dara, you know.

561
00:29:11,580 --> 00:29:17,420
He saves the coupe for Nurburgring during the June, July, you know, when he summers and jure.

562
00:29:21,560 --> 00:29:23,480
Fuck the Leaf, man.

563
00:29:24,520 --> 00:29:26,060
Smoke the bullets, not the Leaf.

564
00:29:26,060 --> 00:29:27,800
This is Newstalk.

565
00:29:41,800 --> 00:29:46,120
Well, that uplifting music was Zadok the Priest by Handel.

566
00:29:46,180 --> 00:29:50,040
And we played that because the future King of England is in Whitlow today.

567
00:29:50,360 --> 00:29:52,160
And Henry McKean is there for us.

568
00:29:52,160 --> 00:29:55,420
This Prince of Prince Charles trip was kept top secret.

569
00:29:55,580 --> 00:29:56,960
Only made public this afternoon.

570
00:29:57,300 --> 00:29:59,460
Of course, the great unwashed didn't know about it.

571
00:29:59,460 --> 00:30:00,580
KGC.

572
00:30:00,760 --> 00:30:05,800
But to find out why Prince Charles is in the Garden County and what he got up to, Henry joins me on the line.

573
00:30:06,580 --> 00:30:08,000
We'll leave that there for a moment.

574
00:30:09,460 --> 00:30:12,220
Just needed the Newstalk to straighten things out.

575
00:30:12,220 --> 00:30:21,460
I was getting a little bit too giddy before because the prospect of reaching the gold trove on the Nurburgring Nordschleife.

576
00:30:21,960 --> 00:30:25,120
Just a bit of a breakdown, guys, as to what we're trying to achieve here.

577
00:30:26,120 --> 00:30:30,080
To the left of my head there is the track.

578
00:30:30,580 --> 00:30:32,140
It's a long track, okay?

579
00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:35,060
You're probably looking at about 8K.

580
00:30:35,460 --> 00:30:37,740
I'd say you could be looking at 15K.

581
00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:43,620
You could actually be looking at about 25K.

582
00:30:45,120 --> 00:30:47,260
I just spoke to your wife.

583
00:30:49,080 --> 00:30:51,140
You've been the victim of bank fraud.

584
00:30:51,900 --> 00:30:52,820
You're going to ATN.

585
00:30:52,940 --> 00:30:54,580
Thanks so much for that tip.

586
00:30:55,680 --> 00:30:57,840
I don't know if I'm going to ATN.

587
00:30:57,940 --> 00:30:58,780
I haven't been invited.

588
00:30:59,900 --> 00:31:00,520
Get on to it.

589
00:31:00,520 --> 00:31:09,060
If you want me to go, if you want me to do a show there, I suggest you contact your local ATN broker.

590
00:31:09,940 --> 00:31:12,220
Say you want Vyper Francis Higgins.

591
00:31:12,540 --> 00:31:16,540
If Francis Higgins gets booked, then I'm going to go with Francis, you know?

592
00:31:16,840 --> 00:31:18,480
He's the ringmaster.

593
00:31:18,900 --> 00:31:20,240
He's letting me do the stream.

594
00:31:21,380 --> 00:31:24,900
Big shout out to Francis Higgins for letting me do the stream, guys.

595
00:31:28,400 --> 00:31:29,940
But, um...

596
00:31:30,800 --> 00:31:34,580
You know, I'd offer you a bit of slur, but I raided most of that last night.

597
00:31:35,260 --> 00:31:36,460
Do you know if you blame me, though?

598
00:31:37,040 --> 00:31:38,400
After the week I've had...

599
00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:40,560
Primo Karma, thanks so much, man.

600
00:31:40,600 --> 00:31:42,160
After the week I've had...

601
00:31:43,220 --> 00:31:43,900
Go on.

602
00:31:44,500 --> 00:31:45,700
I think I fucking need it.

603
00:31:46,800 --> 00:31:49,940
No amount of fucking Ivan Yates and...

604
00:31:49,940 --> 00:31:52,720
Apples and bananas are going to fucking save me.

605
00:31:52,720 --> 00:31:54,420
I just spoke to your wife.

606
00:31:56,280 --> 00:31:58,360
You've been the victim of bank fraud.

607
00:31:58,640 --> 00:32:00,840
Jacob Rees, Mog MP, thanks so much.

608
00:32:00,900 --> 00:32:02,480
You've been the victim of bank fraud.

609
00:32:04,240 --> 00:32:07,180
But yeah, I had a great time at ATN Festival last year.

610
00:32:08,180 --> 00:32:10,180
I didn't make an appearance myself, you know?

611
00:32:10,880 --> 00:32:17,220
Went to watch Francis Higgins do his seminal PowerPoint display.

612
00:32:17,460 --> 00:32:17,940
I love...

613
00:32:17,940 --> 00:32:19,960
I'm a sucker for a PowerPoint, guys.

614
00:32:20,160 --> 00:32:20,840
You know that.

615
00:32:22,440 --> 00:32:26,080
The stuff I saw Francis doing, it kind of inspired me.

616
00:32:26,300 --> 00:32:28,340
Let's just say it inspired me.

617
00:32:29,120 --> 00:32:31,480
To pick up the pace myself.

618
00:32:35,480 --> 00:32:39,840
No doubt he's inspired quite a lot of other people as well.

619
00:32:44,800 --> 00:32:46,900
But yeah, I mean, that's that, you know?

620
00:32:47,240 --> 00:32:49,640
He hasn't been seen in a while.

621
00:32:49,640 --> 00:32:52,580
I heard he was doing the getaway stream last night and was watching that.

622
00:32:53,580 --> 00:32:55,220
Gotta be honest with you guys.

623
00:32:56,100 --> 00:32:57,280
Not my favorite.

624
00:32:57,800 --> 00:32:59,300
Not my favorite stream.

625
00:33:00,400 --> 00:33:02,620
More of a Fontaine man myself.

626
00:33:04,380 --> 00:33:05,400
Okay, guys.

627
00:33:05,480 --> 00:33:07,380
Be more of a Fontaine man myself.

628
00:33:11,280 --> 00:33:14,300
But I gotta give a big shout out to TK.

629
00:33:17,980 --> 00:33:19,280
TK is...

630
00:33:20,280 --> 00:33:24,280
The Medici...

631
00:33:24,980 --> 00:33:26,000
Of the stream.

632
00:33:26,120 --> 00:33:27,280
He is the benefactor.

633
00:33:28,280 --> 00:33:31,280
He is the mystery benefactor, which is...

634
00:33:32,120 --> 00:33:33,280
Powering...

635
00:33:33,280 --> 00:33:35,780
The Nürburgring Nordschleife.

636
00:33:36,860 --> 00:33:37,360
And...

637
00:33:38,360 --> 00:33:39,240
Words cannot...

638
00:33:39,240 --> 00:33:40,240
Words cannot...

639
00:33:41,080 --> 00:33:44,820
Express how grateful I and Francis and the team are.

640
00:33:45,660 --> 00:33:46,040
That...

641
00:33:46,040 --> 00:33:48,700
To everyone who watches and tunes in.

642
00:33:49,380 --> 00:33:49,800
Do you know?

643
00:33:52,780 --> 00:33:54,320
But yeah, that's great.

644
00:33:54,640 --> 00:33:55,080
And...

645
00:33:55,080 --> 00:33:57,780
We finally got a...

646
00:33:57,780 --> 00:34:01,560
We got a silver trope on this there before I came on stream.

647
00:34:01,700 --> 00:34:03,460
Just wanted to do a test drive, you know?

648
00:34:04,300 --> 00:34:05,300
Unfortunately...

649
00:34:05,300 --> 00:34:07,880
I'm relaying tales of yore.

650
00:34:08,300 --> 00:34:09,820
While I'm going around the track.

651
00:34:10,160 --> 00:34:10,300
And...

652
00:34:11,420 --> 00:34:12,300
It's...

653
00:34:12,300 --> 00:34:13,700
It's kind of hard, guys.

654
00:34:14,680 --> 00:34:15,040
It's...

655
00:34:15,040 --> 00:34:16,160
It's getting tough.

656
00:34:16,340 --> 00:34:16,640
Like, you know?

657
00:34:16,740 --> 00:34:17,300
It's...

658
00:34:17,300 --> 00:34:19,400
Coordination is kind of hard.

659
00:34:19,480 --> 00:34:19,920
So...

660
00:34:19,920 --> 00:34:21,520
Let's just jump into this again.

661
00:34:21,640 --> 00:34:23,500
Welcome to the AMG Driving Academy.

662
00:34:24,120 --> 00:34:29,300
Here you will learn the techniques and rules necessary to drive the hallowed Nürburgring.

663
00:34:32,300 --> 00:34:35,240
Last of all, it's time to try a non-stop.

664
00:34:35,240 --> 00:34:39,940
Lap of the Nürburgring Nordschleife in the SLS AMG.

665
00:34:40,700 --> 00:34:44,740
Even if you've had no problems driving it in the 300 SL.

666
00:34:45,540 --> 00:34:50,820
The greater average speed will make driving this without error much more difficult.

667
00:34:51,760 --> 00:34:52,400
If you want to...

668
00:34:52,400 --> 00:34:57,860
If you find that you keep making mistakes, try driving around at 80% of your limit, guys.

669
00:34:57,960 --> 00:34:58,180
Right?

670
00:34:58,920 --> 00:35:01,900
Learn the rhythm of your run as you did in the beginner's lessons.

671
00:35:02,020 --> 00:35:05,580
From there, you can start work to reduce your time.

672
00:35:06,380 --> 00:35:09,680
We all know what time means, don't we?

673
00:35:09,800 --> 00:35:12,420
Time is all around as it's ticking away.

674
00:35:12,740 --> 00:35:13,520
Ever-present.

675
00:35:14,240 --> 00:35:14,660
Fleeting.

676
00:35:15,280 --> 00:35:17,320
You'll never get these moments back.

677
00:35:17,880 --> 00:35:18,200
Okay?

678
00:35:19,120 --> 00:35:23,560
You're watching me now, and I'm telling you, you're never going to get these moments back.

679
00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:28,160
Okay, guys.

680
00:35:28,280 --> 00:35:29,480
Let's go for another run.

681
00:35:39,080 --> 00:35:40,600
Cause celebraire.

682
00:35:40,800 --> 00:35:44,080
I just put pen to paper on a new pension deal from Zurich.

683
00:35:44,500 --> 00:35:45,400
You should too, John.

684
00:35:45,620 --> 00:35:47,040
Johnson's wireless printer.

685
00:35:47,200 --> 00:35:48,560
Thanks very much, buddy.

686
00:35:50,080 --> 00:35:52,240
Are Zurich regulated by the central bank?

687
00:35:52,340 --> 00:35:52,760
Yes.

688
00:35:54,060 --> 00:35:57,240
Financial regulator completely above board.

689
00:35:57,520 --> 00:35:57,700
Okay?

690
00:35:58,280 --> 00:36:00,180
We're one of the best investment banks in Europe.

691
00:36:01,180 --> 00:36:02,580
Cause celebraire.

692
00:36:02,580 --> 00:36:06,060
I just put pen to paper on a new pension deal from Zurich.

693
00:36:06,560 --> 00:36:07,420
You should too, John.

694
00:36:07,420 --> 00:36:12,240
Thanks very much for that.

695
00:36:13,280 --> 00:36:14,640
We're going to start again now.

696
00:36:14,700 --> 00:36:15,440
Brain schluck.

697
00:36:15,520 --> 00:36:16,960
Thanks very much for that.

698
00:36:23,600 --> 00:36:24,160
Slow down.

699
00:36:24,160 --> 00:36:25,240
It's almost six o'clock.

700
00:36:25,540 --> 00:36:30,540
Time to get down to your local Mercedes dealer and ask about test driving the new Mercedes.

701
00:36:30,540 --> 00:36:32,280
Thanks so much, Mama Duck.

702
00:36:32,600 --> 00:36:34,460
Big shout out to Mama Duck.

703
00:36:34,540 --> 00:36:34,800
Look.

704
00:36:36,280 --> 00:36:40,320
Was hoping, um, I'd see you there, Mama Duck.

705
00:36:40,380 --> 00:36:44,500
You want to get down to your local Zurich broker tonight.

706
00:36:44,720 --> 00:36:50,400
They're going to be holding a 24-hour darkness, darkness into light.

707
00:36:51,760 --> 00:36:52,960
Zurich Broke-a-thon.

708
00:36:53,920 --> 00:36:56,740
In aid of Davos.

709
00:36:56,740 --> 00:36:58,740
All the poor people out in Davos.

710
00:36:59,400 --> 00:37:02,180
So, you want to get yourself down to that tonight.

711
00:37:02,300 --> 00:37:04,320
If you haven't thought about your pension.

712
00:37:04,440 --> 00:37:06,920
If you haven't thought about how many paydays you've got left.

713
00:37:08,020 --> 00:37:10,180
Then, I'm sorry guys.

714
00:37:10,300 --> 00:37:11,680
But, I don't want to say.

715
00:37:11,860 --> 00:37:12,980
I'm not going to pull any punches.

716
00:37:13,600 --> 00:37:14,260
You're fucked.

717
00:37:15,060 --> 00:37:15,420
Okay.

718
00:37:19,100 --> 00:37:20,080
You're fucked.

719
00:37:23,740 --> 00:37:26,860
Get down to see my friend Killian Davos.

720
00:37:27,660 --> 00:37:30,340
He's senior sales advisor at Mercedes Ireland.

721
00:37:30,460 --> 00:37:36,960
And, he also has the keys to the Zurich broker out in Dalky.

722
00:37:37,700 --> 00:37:38,980
He's just a key holder.

723
00:37:39,660 --> 00:37:42,060
And, we can go there tonight if you want.

724
00:37:43,020 --> 00:37:44,020
But, don't tell the owner.

725
00:37:44,440 --> 00:37:46,220
And, we'll have a little bit of a sesh.

726
00:37:47,000 --> 00:37:48,220
I'd offer you a bit of schlur.

727
00:37:48,320 --> 00:37:50,740
But, I raided most of that last night.

728
00:37:51,180 --> 00:37:51,580
Killian.

729
00:37:51,700 --> 00:37:52,640
You don't even blame me though.

730
00:37:53,160 --> 00:37:54,400
After the week I've had.

731
00:37:54,560 --> 00:37:56,220
Killian's going to be down there tonight.

732
00:37:56,600 --> 00:37:58,260
At the AMG Broke-a-thon.

733
00:37:58,360 --> 00:37:59,500
Down in Dalky.

734
00:38:00,740 --> 00:38:02,420
He's going to have a bottle of schlur.

735
00:38:03,780 --> 00:38:04,820
And, don't let that.

736
00:38:04,920 --> 00:38:06,280
Don't be dismayed about that.

737
00:38:07,500 --> 00:38:09,400
Because, if I know Killian William.

738
00:38:09,400 --> 00:38:11,060
And, I think I do Killian.

739
00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:14,200
You're probably going to taint that schlur.

740
00:38:15,020 --> 00:38:16,900
With something a little bit naughty.

741
00:38:16,900 --> 00:38:19,660
A little bit nasty.

742
00:38:21,560 --> 00:38:23,320
Something a little bit cheeky.

743
00:38:24,380 --> 00:38:27,440
Because, I hear you're a devil for the vodka.

744
00:38:28,680 --> 00:38:28,960
Okay.

745
00:38:30,360 --> 00:38:31,280
Grey Goose.

746
00:38:31,660 --> 00:38:34,100
I'd be a Grey Goose man myself, John.

747
00:38:35,700 --> 00:38:37,880
Thanks very much, display name.

748
00:38:38,880 --> 00:38:40,280
And, Killian William.

749
00:38:40,500 --> 00:38:42,660
Look, I need to drive this Mercedes.

750
00:38:43,860 --> 00:38:45,320
Please, just.

751
00:38:45,320 --> 00:38:49,120
Don't get upset with me if I'm missing.

752
00:38:49,980 --> 00:38:51,740
The chat messages there, guys.

753
00:38:52,900 --> 00:38:54,360
I can see you in the chat.

754
00:38:54,520 --> 00:38:55,540
Missed, Andrew.

755
00:38:58,180 --> 00:38:58,740
Jimmy Jusis.

756
00:38:59,600 --> 00:39:02,220
The long-standing Jusis man.

757
00:39:04,600 --> 00:39:05,600
Jesus, guys.

758
00:39:05,600 --> 00:39:07,200
We're on the Schweiden cruise.

759
00:39:08,400 --> 00:39:08,900
We just.

760
00:39:09,140 --> 00:39:10,980
Now, we're heading into Orenburg.

761
00:39:11,340 --> 00:39:13,320
Which is a real nice bend.

762
00:39:13,900 --> 00:39:15,000
A real sweet bend.

763
00:39:15,140 --> 00:39:17,200
Tickle the apex with the feather duster.

764
00:39:18,200 --> 00:39:19,160
The tire treads.

765
00:39:19,300 --> 00:39:21,380
Made, crafted from hard rubber.

766
00:39:22,060 --> 00:39:25,100
But, they were handcrafted tires.

767
00:39:25,680 --> 00:39:27,620
None of your Yokohama bullshit.

768
00:39:28,360 --> 00:39:31,320
This is pure fucking Bridgestone.

769
00:39:31,800 --> 00:39:33,040
Customized tires.

770
00:39:33,520 --> 00:39:35,120
Handcrafted by children.

771
00:39:35,600 --> 00:39:36,520
Out in Indonesia.

772
00:39:37,360 --> 00:39:37,980
And we have.

773
00:39:38,560 --> 00:39:40,480
They were chiseled.

774
00:39:40,720 --> 00:39:43,520
Chiseled non-stop for hours.

775
00:39:44,180 --> 00:39:44,400
And.

776
00:39:44,840 --> 00:39:47,040
You might think that's pretty bad, guys.

777
00:39:47,120 --> 00:39:49,220
But, they actually earn a great wage.

778
00:39:50,340 --> 00:39:51,640
When you think about it.

779
00:39:51,700 --> 00:39:52,320
When it's all.

780
00:39:52,440 --> 00:39:54,040
It all adds up in the end.

781
00:39:54,280 --> 00:39:56,220
It's all relevant to their economy.

782
00:39:57,180 --> 00:39:57,560
You know.

783
00:39:57,720 --> 00:39:59,440
You do get a lot of Greens.

784
00:39:59,700 --> 00:40:00,300
Saying to you.

785
00:40:00,460 --> 00:40:00,680
You know.

786
00:40:01,460 --> 00:40:04,000
It's not ethical to drive that kind of machine.

787
00:40:04,860 --> 00:40:05,920
That kind of torque.

788
00:40:06,580 --> 00:40:07,000
That kind.

789
00:40:07,180 --> 00:40:08,320
That kind of horsepower.

790
00:40:08,580 --> 00:40:09,420
That kind of HP.

791
00:40:10,100 --> 00:40:11,280
That kind of torque.

792
00:40:12,700 --> 00:40:13,280
You know.

793
00:40:13,340 --> 00:40:14,320
Your carbon footprint.

794
00:40:14,680 --> 00:40:16,180
Is going to be too big.

795
00:40:17,120 --> 00:40:20,080
And I have a friend who's always banging on about that fear crap.

796
00:40:21,260 --> 00:40:21,900
I said to him.

797
00:40:21,940 --> 00:40:22,720
Do you know what, fear?

798
00:40:23,800 --> 00:40:25,780
Do you want to see my carbon footprint?

799
00:40:26,700 --> 00:40:27,520
Yeah, fear.

800
00:40:27,520 --> 00:40:27,660
Fear.

801
00:40:35,340 --> 00:40:37,400
Do you want to see my carbon footprint?

802
00:40:37,400 --> 00:40:37,840
Fear.

803
00:40:44,120 --> 00:40:45,120
You're fucked.

804
00:40:49,620 --> 00:40:50,720
I just said.

805
00:40:51,000 --> 00:40:52,600
Do you want to see my carbon footprint?

806
00:40:52,760 --> 00:40:53,000
Fear.

807
00:40:54,160 --> 00:40:56,440
Unzip the G-Star.

808
00:40:56,560 --> 00:40:57,080
Oz.

809
00:40:57,080 --> 00:41:01,720
and just got it out and said it's

810
00:41:01,720 --> 00:41:18,740
just put a bit of yates back on there see if we can get the seems to be coming quite often prince

811
00:41:18,740 --> 00:41:24,420
charlie i know you're right he's come a lot in the last five years he first visited in 2002 this

812
00:41:24,420 --> 00:41:31,380
is his fifth visit since 2015 so he comes here who's this guy and this morning who's this guy on the

813
00:41:31,380 --> 00:41:41,520
radio top absolute ring yates let me just add by the way ivan yates is is quintessentially the

814
00:41:41,520 --> 00:41:47,260
greatest gentleman that ever lived i actually would put him he's probably the best yates

815
00:41:47,260 --> 00:41:59,340
ever that ever came out of ireland i don't say that lightly he's up there i mean you can have your

816
00:41:59,340 --> 00:42:05,520
wb interesting and where i'm actually speaking to you from right now you know you can have your

817
00:42:05,520 --> 00:42:14,960
fucking jack yates this brother of the painter not as famous as wb still upheld in high regard

818
00:42:14,960 --> 00:42:24,160
and um but ivan yates this is a stunning stunning they don't have the they don't have those two yates

819
00:42:24,160 --> 00:42:29,840
brothers the artist and the poet don't have the panache or the presentational style that ivan yates

820
00:42:29,840 --> 00:42:38,960
has also ivan yates just a bigger man you know he could hold his own he's just he's just a pure alpha

821
00:42:38,960 --> 00:42:44,000
he did i mean he did show up eventually he eventually showed up and but we're all scratching our heads

822
00:42:44,000 --> 00:42:53,040
where's wb he was a poindexter he was a poet he was good with words he also planted a redwood tree

823
00:42:53,040 --> 00:43:01,520
you know he did that fucking poem on the lockout but i got to meet september 1913 um fumbling in the

824
00:43:01,520 --> 00:43:07,600
fumbling in the greasy till guys fumbling in the greasy till

825
00:43:10,320 --> 00:43:18,800
but uh yates he wouldn't fumble in a till you know yates he does his talking on the radio

826
00:43:20,800 --> 00:43:28,560
and i know for a fact he drives a fucking amg okay

827
00:43:28,560 --> 00:43:33,120
cool planet experience is an interactive kind of climate museum but they also have a large

828
00:43:33,120 --> 00:43:37,760
educational awareness component so we have over god from f and thanks so much

829
00:43:40,000 --> 00:43:46,960
god from f and thank you so much put this in my xuric account i know control xuric as experts in

830
00:43:46,960 --> 00:43:54,560
investing these funds in europe and political destabilization indexes never a true word spoken

831
00:43:54,560 --> 00:44:02,160
gab or that was display name actually you've been the victim of bank fraud keep it together john you've

832
00:44:02,160 --> 00:44:06,800
been the victim of bank fraud so much thank you so much look let's get around this track see if we can

833
00:44:06,800 --> 00:44:13,840
get a silver trophy at least it's only meant to be it's drive time it's it's six o'clock guys it's just

834
00:44:13,840 --> 00:44:28,240
gone six o'clock big shout out to jvp there's nothing like a bit of van valkenberg in the afternoon in the evening

835
00:44:29,280 --> 00:44:35,360
it's just gone six o'clock guys it's just gone six o'clock and we're driving around the nurberg ring we're

836
00:44:35,360 --> 00:44:41,120
at the burg work right now it's one of the it's a wide turn actually narrows as you come out the end of the

837
00:44:41,120 --> 00:44:49,760
the fucking thing and it's like say going off the m50 at um at the red cow taking the hard left of the

838
00:44:49,760 --> 00:44:57,040
red cow then just heading out to kildare or wherever the fuck you want to go there west me i actually took

839
00:44:57,040 --> 00:45:04,400
a left at the red cow once ended up at weston airport thankfully one of my friends is a pilot there down at

840
00:45:04,400 --> 00:45:16,640
weston his name is gab from effin he drives he flies should i say one of the limited edition mercedes s-class

841
00:45:16,640 --> 00:45:23,520
lear jets which haven't been invented yet funnily enough he's friends with the guy who works in the

842
00:45:23,520 --> 00:45:32,160
jurick broker in geneva who gets free comp passes to the motor show every year and they were at a say

843
00:45:33,040 --> 00:45:44,960
they were at a seance together after the geneva show and they were visited by the ghost of mercedes

844
00:45:44,960 --> 00:45:52,480
now this is some spook we're getting a bit spooky here guys things are getting things are getting a bit

845
00:45:52,480 --> 00:46:01,040
spooky guys sorry about this trying to hold it together relaying some of the true stories from my life

846
00:46:03,920 --> 00:46:11,120
and the ghost the ghost of mercedes came down during the seance they'd all had they were all liquored up

847
00:46:11,120 --> 00:46:18,000
on schnapps so i was saying to him at the time are you sure now was this some real ouija part was this some

848
00:46:18,000 --> 00:46:28,640
was this was this some real ouija board stuff or were you just stonged on schnapps and uh

849
00:46:29,760 --> 00:46:37,760
he was like no connor look i'm fucking telling you the truth man the ghost of mercedes came down

850
00:46:39,520 --> 00:46:43,360
was hovering above our heads lingering lingering

851
00:46:45,120 --> 00:46:56,400
softly speaking to us the dulcet tones of germanic teutonic mercedes broke and it whispered into our ears

852
00:46:57,360 --> 00:47:00,260
S'an Shvinkens f'an Shbunkentooth

853
00:47:00,260 --> 00:47:01,760
*laughs*

854
00:47:01,760 --> 00:47:03,560
S'an Shbuken...

855
00:47:03,560 --> 00:47:05,160
S'aaah!

856
00:47:05,160 --> 00:47:07,160
S'an Shbuken...

857
00:47:07,160 --> 00:47:09,160
*laughs*

858
00:47:09,160 --> 00:47:10,660
*dist securities*

859
00:47:10,660 --> 00:47:13,660
When I slither home after a hard day out in the fields,

860
00:47:13,660 --> 00:47:17,560
there's nothing I like more than lashing a few shtickens into the fireplace

861
00:47:17,560 --> 00:47:19,160
and setting fire to them.

862
00:47:19,160 --> 00:47:21,060
Be careful not to burn your hands like I did

863
00:47:21,060 --> 00:47:23,060
while I'm waiting for that baby to get going.

864
00:47:23,060 --> 00:47:24,960
I do a few rolls on the ground

865
00:47:24,960 --> 00:47:27,260
and a few reptilious repetitions.

866
00:47:27,260 --> 00:47:29,260
Just to get the blood flowing.

867
00:47:29,260 --> 00:47:31,260
Once those flames are licking high,

868
00:47:31,260 --> 00:47:33,260
it's time to shtick your coal in it.

869
00:47:33,260 --> 00:47:34,260
*laughs*

870
00:47:34,260 --> 00:47:37,260
Technical Gremlins guys!

871
00:47:37,260 --> 00:47:38,260
*laughs*

872
00:47:38,260 --> 00:47:43,260
Jimmy Jusus, thanks so much. Great to see you in the new Mercedes Jusus.

873
00:47:43,260 --> 00:47:48,260
Shout out to Frankie Schcones, Frankie Schcones,

874
00:47:48,260 --> 00:47:52,260
the Kowloon County Council, safe travels, timing swords,

875
00:47:52,260 --> 00:47:54,260
and his flight back to Kowloon West.

876
00:47:54,260 --> 00:47:56,260
Well that's lovely isn't it?

877
00:47:56,260 --> 00:47:58,260
Really nice to have a cowl in community.

878
00:47:58,260 --> 00:48:00,260
I just spoke to your wife.

879
00:48:00,260 --> 00:48:02,260
*laughs*

880
00:48:02,260 --> 00:48:04,260
You've been the victim of bank fraud.

881
00:48:04,260 --> 00:48:06,260
Rory Daugherty, thanks so much.

882
00:48:06,260 --> 00:48:10,260
I'm really sad to hear that you've been the victim of bank fraud.

883
00:48:10,260 --> 00:48:12,260
*snick*

884
00:48:12,260 --> 00:48:15,260
The news came through earlier on on Snapchat.

885
00:48:15,260 --> 00:48:20,260
Your wife said on Snapchat that you've been the victim of bank fraud, Rory.

886
00:48:20,260 --> 00:48:24,260
You know I'd offer you a bit of schlurr but I raided most of that last night.

887
00:48:24,260 --> 00:48:25,260
Do you know if you blame me though?

888
00:48:25,260 --> 00:48:26,260
The Dutch girl kid.

889
00:48:26,260 --> 00:48:27,260
I'm really really bad.

890
00:48:27,260 --> 00:48:29,260
Thanks so much the Dutch girl kid.

891
00:48:29,260 --> 00:48:33,260
Look, really sorry I've just been having a bit of a breakdown here.

892
00:48:33,260 --> 00:48:48,260
JVV so- thanks so much too man you're a real inspiration.

893
00:48:48,260 --> 00:48:52,260
*laughs*

894
00:48:52,260 --> 00:48:54,260
Look uh...

895
00:48:54,260 --> 00:48:56,260
*laughs*

896
00:48:56,260 --> 00:48:57,260
*laughs*

897
00:48:57,260 --> 00:49:01,260
Trying to just like...

898
00:49:01,260 --> 00:49:10,260
Hold it together here guys because the story about the Spook and Tooth was a real serious...

899
00:49:10,260 --> 00:49:19,640
a really serious a really a really serious watershed watershed

900
00:49:19,640 --> 00:49:26,500
in my friend my friend's life

901
00:49:26,500 --> 00:49:38,060
okay so just let's just rewind the tape guys let's just rewind the tape

902
00:49:38,060 --> 00:49:53,000
geneva motor show 2012 my friend zonat who works out in a zurich brokership out in geneve

903
00:49:53,000 --> 00:49:58,100
gets free comps to the fucking zurich so the geneva motor show every year

904
00:49:58,100 --> 00:50:07,440
he met up with a few of the mercedes guys out there they had a case of schnapps

905
00:50:07,440 --> 00:50:18,520
they brought it back to the broker for an after sesh one of the head honchos from mercedes

906
00:50:18,520 --> 00:50:27,640
whips out a fucking ouija board whips out a ouija board whips out a fucking ouija board

907
00:50:27,640 --> 00:50:38,720
and fuck i can't do it guys

908
00:50:38,720 --> 00:50:47,800
when i slither home after a hard day out in fields there's nothing i like more than lashing a few schtickings into the fireplace and setting fire to them

909
00:50:47,800 --> 00:50:58,880
be careful not to burn your hands like i did while i'm waiting for that baby to get going i do a few rolls on the ground and a few reptilius repetitions just to get the blood flowing once those flames

910
00:50:58,880 --> 00:51:09,960
you can generate extra draught by using your gooch as a waft now all that's left is to sit back

911
00:51:09,960 --> 00:51:17,040
and warm your sack by the flames this message was brought to you by fire lighters

912
00:51:17,040 --> 00:51:29,760
fucking whipped out a ouija board

913
00:51:29,760 --> 00:51:40,240
and right at the moment the thing the fucking yoke started to move around the board

914
00:51:40,240 --> 00:51:41,840
spelling out

915
00:51:41,840 --> 00:51:48,920
m then to e to r to c to e to d to e to s mercedes

916
00:51:48,920 --> 00:51:56,240
the lot of them like this what the fuck are we witnessing here are you moving that

917
00:51:56,240 --> 00:51:58,600
he said no

918
00:51:58,600 --> 00:52:07,240
and then they feel the lights start to flicker and then a fucking ghost came down and it was the ghost of mercedes

919
00:52:07,240 --> 00:52:16,520
and it said in pure germanic teutonic stylish brogue

920
00:52:16,520 --> 00:52:19,880
fukens on spooking tooth

921
00:52:19,880 --> 00:52:23,160
ground zero bluthmuth

922
00:52:23,160 --> 00:52:27,040
you'd wanna fucking check it out doof

923
00:52:27,040 --> 00:52:37,680
alright 5 9 6 7 9 mercedes plane class

924
00:52:37,680 --> 00:52:42,220
they're all like what the fuck have we just heard mercedes plane class

925
00:52:42,220 --> 00:52:46,040
so my friend zonad

926
00:52:46,040 --> 00:52:50,320
said look this is just too much to handle

927
00:52:50,320 --> 00:52:55,520
i reckon what that means is we have to go out there and build the spooking tooth

928
00:52:56,160 --> 00:52:57,600
and then mercedes guys are like

929
00:52:57,600 --> 00:52:59,040
was is das

930
00:52:59,600 --> 00:53:00,960
was is das

931
00:53:00,960 --> 00:53:07,360
and he's like look you may have fucking tried you may have nearly won the world over with your world wars

932
00:53:08,480 --> 00:53:12,800
look you may have you may have nearly fucking taken over the globe twice

933
00:53:14,480 --> 00:53:23,760
germany but it's gonna take me a fucking dublin man to set the world straight and take over the skies

934
00:53:23,760 --> 00:53:32,960
in the new mercedes spooking tooth and they're like they were going was is das spooking tooth

935
00:53:33,760 --> 00:53:43,040
please please deutsche bank and he was like look go back to your fucking desks

936
00:53:43,040 --> 00:53:47,120
i'm gonna have back i know a guy at western airport who flies jets

937
00:53:48,960 --> 00:53:56,640
and i also know a guy called connor williams that guy is and you're listening to that guy speak right now guys

938
00:53:58,080 --> 00:54:04,560
so i managed to get the parts together we designed the first ever spooking tooth which is a lear jet

939
00:54:05,360 --> 00:54:08,640
with the fucking engine of a benz c-class

940
00:54:12,080 --> 00:54:20,640
and um nobody knows it's in a hangar at western at the moment guys it's under lock and key but one of

941
00:54:20,640 --> 00:54:28,240
these days we're gonna take it for a fucking spin it's got it doesn't have bluetooth but it has spooking

942
00:54:28,240 --> 00:54:36,560
tooth which allows you to connect your phone play all your latest hits spotify

943
00:54:38,880 --> 00:54:39,440
and um

944
00:54:41,760 --> 00:54:47,360
yeah it's got a lot of green diesel in it too we're actually gonna fly that thing over to uh

945
00:54:47,360 --> 00:54:56,000
nurburgring and landed on the nord schleife reverse track sunday afternoon closed

946
00:54:58,080 --> 00:55:03,840
zonad has a lot of money in the bank he can he can arrange for the road closure at nurburgring

947
00:55:05,680 --> 00:55:13,200
he actually uh when we were there the last time we were on a fucking lads day out trying to get the gold trove

948
00:55:14,240 --> 00:55:22,720
for zonad stag i don't think i ever told you about zonad stag he was bombing it he was around the nurburgring

949
00:55:22,720 --> 00:55:29,360
nordschleife at dawn and uh one of the guys there behind the counter said look man

950
00:55:30,320 --> 00:55:36,000
you you weren't we didn't give you the the the permission to go out at 4am like you know

951
00:55:38,160 --> 00:55:45,920
and um zonad just grabs the guy behind the desk and he goes listen to me nerdberg ring

952
00:55:47,760 --> 00:56:00,880
do you know who i am i'm zonad and you're nothing man and your man was just like that's that's that's just

953
00:56:00,880 --> 00:56:10,960
get off me oh please and we just took off then went for brunch came back and just drove the track

954
00:56:11,840 --> 00:56:20,240
drove the track fast you know zonad the impaler we all know him as a real good guy a real sweet piece

955
00:56:22,400 --> 00:56:30,880
cause celebrate i just put pen to father ted curly thanks so much you're in one stream and i'm out the

956
00:56:30,880 --> 00:56:38,960
next my head's up my arse thanks every everybody for for donating and watching

957
00:56:45,360 --> 00:56:55,440
john it's weed you broke rip you're 38 get a grip john you're 38 thanks so much metakitten big shout

958
00:56:55,440 --> 00:57:03,280
out to metakitten we actually uh crafted a metakitten out at the fucking mercedes workshop

959
00:57:04,240 --> 00:57:10,160
there's a mad german scientist out there it's almost six o'clock time to get down to your local mercedes

960
00:57:10,160 --> 00:57:16,720
dealer and ask about test driving the new mercedes it's a bit of a mad thanks so much scott fenner okay

961
00:57:17,520 --> 00:57:27,360
bit of a donation there from scott fenner nice guy thanks very much we actually handcrafted a metakitten

962
00:57:27,360 --> 00:57:33,120
with a german an evil german scientist who went by the name of fat cox mep

963
00:57:33,120 --> 00:57:42,400
bank fraud who's just committed bank fraud just spoke to your wife pat cox she snapchatted into the show

964
00:57:42,400 --> 00:57:51,520
she sent everyone a group chat which said my husband's my husband's bankrupt can anybody help us out we

965
00:57:51,520 --> 00:57:58,560
don't want to dip into the pension you've been the victim of bank fraud box is a cobra toxin thanks so much

966
00:57:59,200 --> 00:58:17,920
you've been the victim of bank fraud you've been the victim of bank fraud you've been the victim of bank fraud

967
00:58:20,720 --> 00:58:25,440
thanks so much for that john's wife

968
00:58:28,720 --> 00:58:34,080
and uh look we're gonna drive one more time and really go for gold go for the gold tro from this

969
00:58:34,080 --> 00:58:41,520
guys i'd offer you a bit of slur but uh i raided jimmy ling a real legend amongst men jimmy ling

970
00:58:42,640 --> 00:58:50,480
known him since he was yay high a real good guy we used to jam it up back in the old days

971
00:58:51,520 --> 00:58:57,760
driving wallace arnold coaches and fitting engines into the latest kitano coaches

972
00:58:59,520 --> 00:59:02,000
big tripod too big shout out for you

973
00:59:04,400 --> 00:59:13,680
watching from cloudy belfast on your iphone is it an iphone 10 hope so great rob great pixels

974
00:59:15,520 --> 00:59:20,560
you know i've got got a great shot of the alps on the iphone it's almost sadly the battery is

975
00:59:20,560 --> 00:59:27,120
lacking to your local mercie days dealer and ask about test driving your new mercie days it's ouija or bus

976
00:59:27,120 --> 00:59:32,960
john thanks so much for that big tripod you want to upgrade to an iphone 10 too

977
00:59:34,080 --> 00:59:40,400
okay the battery life is almost doubled okay i was out for a walkabout around burn the battery died

978
00:59:40,400 --> 00:59:48,720
within two hours of filming get a grip you're 38 pays haze get a grip have you been in to see if you've

979
00:59:48,720 --> 00:59:54,720
been to see anyone about a mortgage yet do you even have it what's the story there you want to just

980
00:59:54,720 --> 01:00:03,040
first like first things first come see me i know zonad he works out the fucking he's a key holder at the zurich

981
01:00:03,840 --> 01:00:08,320
brokership out in doggy we can go there have a few schlurs

982
01:00:09,200 --> 01:00:12,640
fucking set the world we'll set the world to rights over a few schlurs

983
01:00:13,600 --> 01:00:20,960
and we'll set we'll together we'll set you up with a pension that holds up you and your family together

984
01:00:22,400 --> 01:00:28,400
because it's never too early to start a pension fund okay

985
01:00:32,080 --> 01:00:40,000
cause celebraire i just put pen to paper on a new pension deal from zurich cause celebraire frankie

986
01:00:40,000 --> 01:00:44,800
scones just put pen to paper on a new pension deal frankie scones

987
01:00:46,480 --> 01:00:53,920
i hope i i'd hate to see you lose everything because you didn't make a pension plan

988
01:00:54,560 --> 01:01:03,920
john get a grip get a grip you're 38 max max darwin and frankie scones

989
01:01:05,680 --> 01:01:11,840
please please please please talk to someone please time to ring out

990
01:01:14,240 --> 01:01:16,880
i had a friend his name was dave

991
01:01:18,880 --> 01:01:22,960
he didn't fucking plan for the future and

992
01:01:26,560 --> 01:01:33,200
i said when dave have you even thought about what you're doing you're fucking 36 next month

993
01:01:35,200 --> 01:01:39,920
you're going on holiday again where's the money going dave

994
01:01:42,000 --> 01:01:46,320
where's the money going you just fucking put you just bought a fucking 151 audi

995
01:01:47,680 --> 01:01:56,640
on your salary do you even have that paid off go on come back to me when you fucking start shaving

996
01:01:58,960 --> 01:02:05,440
and in all fairness he started he was an early developer he started shaving when he was fucking 10

997
01:02:06,800 --> 01:02:13,200
but i mean i was being rhetorical and metaphorical implying that he didn't really have his together you know

998
01:02:14,640 --> 01:02:20,000
look guys i'm boring you and i need to have one more race before we get off let's try and gold trof

999
01:02:20,000 --> 01:02:32,640
this piece of before we leave it's been a blast it's been it's been a real blast

1000
01:02:34,640 --> 01:02:39,680
just while i'm here guys how the volume levels can you hear the the car driving there because i've got

1001
01:02:39,680 --> 01:02:48,160
a fucking a real mishmash of a setup here guys let me tell me let me know if you can hear the car

1002
01:02:48,160 --> 01:02:56,480
driving guys i know you can hear me you're probably sick of hearing me you're probably fucking sick of hearing me

1003
01:02:57,840 --> 01:03:03,600
perfect says carrie thanks so much carrie you're you're a great guy carrie

1004
01:03:03,600 --> 01:03:10,160
hawk hawk hawk hawk hiking we're in the hawk hiking stage here

1005
01:03:14,320 --> 01:03:21,600
real nice driving just tickling the apex really tickling tantalizing that apex just giving the the

1006
01:03:21,600 --> 01:03:28,320
apex i want to give the apex a sniff of the tire as you go around you only want to let the apex smell your

1007
01:03:28,320 --> 01:03:35,120
tire okay as mentioned before these tires were handcrafted by children out in indonesia

1008
01:03:35,120 --> 01:03:41,680
and that's the way we want it because the level of detailing and the fucking time spent you're not

1009
01:03:41,680 --> 01:03:46,800
going to get that in a factory out here in europe you're just not production lines you want to be

1010
01:03:46,800 --> 01:03:55,440
taking the schweiden crews at a real hefty pace drop that down to second as you go into the orenberg and

1011
01:03:55,440 --> 01:04:01,920
fuck it up in the sand you end up like a child playing in the sandpit building sandcastles you

1012
01:04:01,920 --> 01:04:07,520
didn't have you didn't plan for the future you didn't drop it down a second and now you're laughed at

1013
01:04:08,320 --> 01:04:16,000
you're a joke you might as well quit and fucking i won't say the end of that in case anybody clips it

1014
01:04:17,120 --> 01:04:21,680
puts it up out of context and says that i was a threat to mental health

1015
01:04:23,600 --> 01:04:32,880
so let's overtake this clown and his fucking lime green piece of shit i mean i i like all the mercedes

1016
01:04:32,880 --> 01:04:42,480
but i mean it's amg or bust at this stage you're a clown he might as well the doors he might as well be

1017
01:04:42,480 --> 01:04:50,960
driving that thing around a circus watching elephants get abused with rings around their trunks

1018
01:04:50,960 --> 01:04:58,560
the fucking door's falling off lime green who picked the color your wife

1019
01:05:01,840 --> 01:05:08,160
no thanks it's black or blue it's black or blue john

1020
01:05:10,720 --> 01:05:18,560
i got the nickname the stig i was actually i was actually stig for two seasons of top gear

1021
01:05:19,280 --> 01:05:27,520
before they give me the heave ho jerem jezza clarkson came up to me one day and he said listen stig

1022
01:05:27,520 --> 01:05:39,200
you're getting a bit too big for your helmet i said you're you're you know what you are you're a stupid

1023
01:05:39,200 --> 01:05:50,800
irish mick i said you and your top gear and i left and i said jezebel you're a fucking you're a

1024
01:05:50,800 --> 01:06:00,320
fucking tit and that's i got the heave ho and he the the the team accepted jeremy clarkson's racism

1025
01:06:01,520 --> 01:06:09,520
and jeremy clarkson said to me said that i was the i started it first which i did i called him a fat tan

1026
01:06:15,280 --> 01:06:23,520
but i mean still it was in him do you know as my father used to say if it's not in him it won't come

1027
01:06:23,520 --> 01:06:41,760
out and i said to clarkson that day fuck you i'm gonna drive their new mercedes round round town

1028
01:06:41,760 --> 01:06:52,000
so guys we're just gonna move here around this corner which is known as the shoe can shaffer

1029
01:06:53,360 --> 01:07:02,880
you wanna you need to watch out because you don't want to get spooked this this car this this particular

1030
01:07:04,320 --> 01:07:14,800
style streck has bluetooth as standard leather seats leather upholstery a really nice steering wheel

1031
01:07:14,800 --> 01:07:22,560
and here we are at the caracola carousel this is a real famous turn up against a load of fucking

1032
01:07:23,760 --> 01:07:29,920
commercial like what's that an slk some of the c-class or something something like that

1033
01:07:34,000 --> 01:07:37,280
go around and really fast and just say look suck my bell

1034
01:07:44,720 --> 01:07:52,480
you know you're doing if you're gonna be doing 150 on the m50 you're driving window goes down suck my bell

1035
01:07:53,440 --> 01:07:58,480
do you know who i am fucking partner at kpmg by the age of 26.

1036
01:08:03,680 --> 01:08:24,820
Driving like a bat out of hell. Going so fast the wheels are gonna come off. What time do the wheels go round? The wheels on the Merc go round and round, round and round, round and round. The wheels on the Merc go round and round all day long.

1037
01:08:27,160 --> 01:08:50,640
There is a body in the boot up the town. Right, we drive this corner hard and fast. A lot of people writing on the road. It's putting me off. All the scribbles on the road. They're putting me off, guys. Scribbles on the road, putting me off, guys. And we're not gonna make great time yet again. Snaffled.

1038
01:08:53,640 --> 01:09:06,180
Snaffled the Scheinhorger. Let's just get into the snake now. We're into the German snake. You gotta ride that. Tickle the apex. Just give it a little sniff of your rubber.

1039
01:09:06,180 --> 01:09:10,940
as you go around that little tight shiner

1040
01:09:10,940 --> 01:09:13,280
into the schtickleback.

1041
01:09:14,360 --> 01:09:16,100
Oop, the Lufthansaft.

1042
01:09:16,440 --> 01:09:18,520
Around the fucking Michael Schuhorn.

1043
01:09:19,520 --> 01:09:21,680
And into the 629er.

1044
01:09:22,540 --> 01:09:24,900
And you've got...

1045
01:09:24,900 --> 01:09:28,060
638 on the clock.

1046
01:09:28,160 --> 01:09:29,400
It's not looking good, guys.

1047
01:09:29,400 --> 01:09:32,620
It's not going to be a good lap.

1048
01:09:32,720 --> 01:09:34,380
It's going to be a fucking shit lap, man.

1049
01:09:35,020 --> 01:09:36,000
We're fucked. We're fucked.

1050
01:09:36,000 --> 01:09:42,020
Into Donnybrook Fair for a Sambo after this.

1051
01:09:42,860 --> 01:09:45,220
Sambo's an okay term over here.

1052
01:09:45,960 --> 01:09:47,460
It's racist in the UK.

1053
01:09:48,320 --> 01:09:50,600
But it's fine in Donnybrook.

1054
01:09:51,060 --> 01:09:55,340
As we hit fourth gear into the Schein Schufer.

1055
01:09:55,760 --> 01:09:58,960
Right up the fucking ghetto Cornetto shaft.

1056
01:10:00,500 --> 01:10:03,140
We're on to the Aaron Brennan Straight.

1057
01:10:03,140 --> 01:10:05,540
The Dottinger Hohner.

1058
01:10:05,540 --> 01:10:11,160
As we go underneath the advertisement for the Audi R8 Supercharge.

1059
01:10:11,560 --> 01:10:13,540
You won't catch me driving one of those.

1060
01:10:13,760 --> 01:10:15,560
Because I'm brand loyal.

1061
01:10:16,240 --> 01:10:17,120
Always have been.

1062
01:10:17,240 --> 01:10:18,000
Always will be.

1063
01:10:18,000 --> 01:10:30,560
Gonna get off after this and go play my glockenspiel for an hour.

1064
01:10:30,560 --> 01:10:33,580
I find it quite relaxing, guys.

1065
01:10:33,580 --> 01:10:37,840
Just to play the glockenspiel in a secluded woodland cabin.

1066
01:10:38,220 --> 01:10:40,860
A secluded woodland cabin, guys.

1067
01:10:41,220 --> 01:10:43,420
Sorry I keep laughing all the time, guys.

1068
01:10:43,500 --> 01:10:44,680
It's actually panic.

1069
01:10:45,200 --> 01:10:46,800
I'm worried for the future.

1070
01:10:47,920 --> 01:10:49,260
And I'm just passing on.

1071
01:10:49,580 --> 01:10:52,180
I'm here to pass on the anxiety to you.

1072
01:10:52,820 --> 01:10:57,080
And hopefully you can feel a little bit better, guys.

1073
01:10:57,080 --> 01:10:59,940
That you're not fucked up like me.

1074
01:11:00,600 --> 01:11:03,080
Okay, got a bit of anxiety, guys.

1075
01:11:04,040 --> 01:11:06,220
Hopefully you're not fucked up like me.

1076
01:11:07,080 --> 01:11:08,160
And there we've bronze.

1077
01:11:08,320 --> 01:11:10,560
It's a bronze troffer again.

1078
01:11:11,380 --> 01:11:12,060
Go on.

1079
01:11:12,820 --> 01:11:14,020
Get the fuck out of here.

1080
01:11:14,200 --> 01:11:14,860
We'll see you later.

1081
01:11:15,720 --> 01:11:16,620
Look, it's been real.

1082
01:11:16,720 --> 01:11:17,380
It's been emotional.

1083
01:11:17,620 --> 01:11:20,220
And hopefully you've had an interesting time.

1084
01:11:20,500 --> 01:11:21,680
Back to your wife.

1085
01:11:21,820 --> 01:11:22,940
Spooking Tooth.

1086
01:11:23,580 --> 01:11:25,600
You've been the victim of bank fraud.

1087
01:11:25,700 --> 01:11:29,760
Spooking Tooth, you've been the victim of bank fraud.

1088
01:11:31,600 --> 01:11:34,980
Your wife has just sent a group chat about you.

1089
01:11:35,500 --> 01:11:37,480
She said that you're not a man anymore.

1090
01:11:38,160 --> 01:11:39,920
And she wants us to take over.

1091
01:11:41,860 --> 01:11:43,840
I've just spoke to your wife.

1092
01:11:45,580 --> 01:11:47,720
You've been the victim of bank fraud.

1093
01:11:50,680 --> 01:11:54,260
I've just spoke to your wife, Mark Monty.

1094
01:11:54,900 --> 01:11:56,400
Who the devil are you?

1095
01:11:56,820 --> 01:11:58,920
Thanks so much, Mark Monty.

1096
01:12:00,120 --> 01:12:02,280
Look, it's been an interesting day.

1097
01:12:02,520 --> 01:12:04,380
I didn't think I'd fucking make it through.

1098
01:12:04,820 --> 01:12:07,220
We didn't even silver the fucking track.

1099
01:12:07,700 --> 01:12:11,680
As you can see, the best record at the top of your screen is 733-026.

1100
01:12:13,900 --> 01:12:14,920
Sorry about that.

1101
01:12:14,920 --> 01:12:17,600
Let's try and get there again, okay?

1102
01:12:18,260 --> 01:12:21,700
Right now I have to go and get down to my local Zurich broker.

1103
01:12:22,860 --> 01:12:24,540
You should too, chat.

1104
01:12:25,740 --> 01:12:29,040
It's never too early to start a pension fund.

1105
01:12:29,980 --> 01:12:30,700
I'll see you later.

1106
01:12:31,620 --> 01:12:32,240
God bless.

1107
01:12:32,340 --> 01:12:32,860
Take care.

1108
01:12:33,600 --> 01:12:34,020
It's almost...

1109
01:12:34,020 --> 01:12:36,780
It's almost 628.

1110
01:12:38,560 --> 01:12:39,520
See you later.

1111
01:12:40,320 --> 01:12:41,160
God bless.

1112
01:12:42,400 --> 01:12:43,400
Bye-bye.

1113
01:12:43,400 --> 01:12:45,400
Bye.
